Counterculture (Part 3)
Name of Assembly: United Apostolic Church
Type of service: Bible Study
Date: February 28th, 2023
Topic: “Counterculture”
Scripture Text: 2 Timothy 3:1-5
“This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come. For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good, Traitors, heady, high-minded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God; Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away.”
We live in a culture that is heading the wrong way. Paul was describing our day when he wrote to Timothy, and it’s not a pretty picture. If you really want to live for God, you can only do it by living COUNTERCULTURE.
Our problem in the first part of the 21st Century is that we don’t only have to oppose SECULAR culture, but much of what is called CHRISTIAN culture!
Imagine God looking down on the LIFESTYLE of many so-called Apostolic Christians today. They say they believe in God, but they live as though He doesn’t exist. They are, quite literally, APOSTOLIC ATHEISTS.
Most “marriage problems” are really “two single problems that got married.” People bring their individual issues (i.e. loneliness, sex problems, family issues, self-esteem issues) into the marriage and then blame their spouse!
How many of you are married?
How many of you are single but would like to be married someday? Married or not, how many of you plan on committing adultery?!
Exodus 20:14 - Thou shalt not commit adultery.
The Journal of Psychology and Christianity says that up to 65% of husbands and 55% of wives will commit adultery by age 40. And sadly, this trend has begun to creep into the lives of Apostolic Christians over the last few years. We are letting our culture change us instead of us having an impact on our culture! No one plans on committing adultery, and yet, according to the statistics, many will do so! Why? Because we have a spiritual enemy who hates us and wants to destroy your life, your testimony, and your legacy.
John 10:10 - The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.
The devil doesn’t care about your happiness or your marriage! And while you might think by looking at our culture that he is fixated on sex, he really doesn’t care about that either – he’s not even a physical being!
All the devil cares about is getting you to break God’s commandments! That’s why he attacks your marriage before and after you get married. Have you ever thought how ironic it is? When you are single, the devil is always tempting you to have sex outside of marriage. Then when you get married, he attacks your intimate relationship so you WON’T have sex! So obviously, it’s not “sex” that he cares about – it’s getting you to break God’s commandments, and getting you to break God’s most beautiful covenant.
The English word “adultery” comes from the same root as the word “adulterate,” which means “to contaminate or make impure.” The Hebrew phrase is “Lo Na’aph,” which also means “no apostatizing.” To apostatize means to abandon one’s principles or promises.
Colossians 3:5 - Mortify, therefore, your members which are upon the earth; fornication, uncleanness, inordinate affection, evil concupiscence, and covetousness, which is idolatry:
The sexual sins of fornication, homosexuality, masturbation and lust also cause us to abandon the principles of holiness taught by God’s Word.
Hebrews 13:4 - Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.
Ephesians 5:15-33 - See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise, Redeeming the time, because the days are evil. Wherefore be ye not unwise, but understanding what the will of the Lord is. And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit; Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord; Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ; Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
MARRIAGE IS A COVENANT, NOT A CONTRACT. Contracts say, “I will if you will.” Covenants say, “I will even if you won’t.” Covenants are unselfish.
• God loved us even when we didn’t respond to Him in love.
• Will you love God even when he doesn’t do what you expect?
• Will you choose to love your spouse even when they seem unlovable?
Romans 5:8 - But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
So how does ADULTERY happen? Definitely NOT all at once! It happens when we RATIONALIZE our sinful, selfish actions … step by step … until we cross the line. But the steps are so small, and so indignantly defended, that we don’t even realize when we crossed that critical line in our life.
Here are some of the steps that lead invariably to adultery:
1. NEGLECT your marriage. Never give your best at home; instead, find something outside of your marriage to give your best energies to. Avoid all relational intimacy – no talking, listening, sharing life together, or real sexual intimacy. Just become roommates.
2. Form an EMOTIONAL bond with someone else. Enjoy common interests and activities without your spouse being in the loop. Let your defenses down with them, but keep them raised with your spouse. Once there’s an emotional attachment, begin to share with them your spouse’s negative traits and the difficulties you have in your marriage.
3. Make EXCUSES to be together. Anticipate that time more than you anticipate time with your spouse. Lose some weight, buy some new clothes, join a gym, fix yourself up, flaunt your sexuality if necessary – not for your spouse, but for your “friend.” Invent reasons to get together if you have to, and keep all of this from your spouse.
4. FLIRT whenever possible. Be subtle so no one else will notice. Use inappropriate jokes and touching. Be sensitive toward their feelings and moods while you ignore your spouse. Leave notes, cards, and little gifts that say, “I’m thinking of you.” Use email, texting, and private Facebook messages – just keep your passwords secret from your spouse so they can’t figure out why you are gradually growing distant toward them.
5. RATIONALIZE your actions. Use the excuse, “If my spouse was meeting my needs, I wouldn’t have to do this.” If my spouse was more sensitive. If my spouse made me happy. We’re not compatible. I don’t have any feelings for them. I was never really in love with them. Any lie will do – you just have to repeat it to yourself long enough and loud enough to drown out your conscience and God’s conviction. Ignore any voices that disagree with what you are doing – cut them out of your life.
People keep lying to themselves right up to the point of physical sin … “Adultery will never happen to me. I’ve got this totally under control.”
So if you really value your marriage, your integrity, and your eternity, you need to determine to walk in the other direction by following these steps:
1. Radically reduce the RISKS.
Proverbs 5:8-10 - Remove thy way far from her, and come not nigh the door of her house: Lest thou give thine honour unto others, and thy years unto the cruel: Lest strangers be filled with thy wealth; and thy labours be in the house of a stranger;
Matthew 5:28 - But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.
The point where you cross the line into sin is not PHYSICAL adultery, but SPIRITUAL adultery. Sin always happens in your HEART first!
Some singles commit PRE-MARITAL ADULTERY. Their present actions sin against their future spouse.
What if your spouse (or your future spouse) could watch a video of all your interactions with other people? (real people or media) What if your pastor could watch that video? Would you be ashamed?
• Never be alone with the WRONG people.
• Never talk NEGATIVELY about your marriage.
• Surround yourself with STRONG marriages.
• Avoid all INAPPROPRIATE situations and communication.
James 1:14-15 - But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed. Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death.
Romans 16:19 - For your obedience is come abroad unto all men. I am glad therefore on your behalf: but yet I would have you wise unto that which is good, and simple concerning evil.
Ephesians 5:3 - But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be once named among you, as becometh saints.”
2. Invest PASSIONATELY in your marriage.
Whenever the grass starts to look greener somewhere else, it’s time to water your own yard!
Proverbs 5:15-20 - Drink waters out of thine own cistern, and running waters out of thine own well. Let thy fountains be dispersed abroad, and rivers of waters in the streets. Let them be only thine own, and not strangers' with thee. Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love. And why wilt thou, my son, be ravished with a strange woman, and embrace the bosom of a stranger?
Ravished (“shagah”) = captivated, enraptured, intoxicated, consumed
1 Corinthians 7:2-4 - Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.
Get transparent. Get alone. Get spiritual. Get help. Get intimate.
3. Visualize the potential DESTRUCTION.
Proverbs 5:3-5 - For the lips of a strange woman drop as an honeycomb, and her mouth is smoother than oil: But her end is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a twoedged sword. Her feet go down to death; her steps take hold on hell.
What percentage of people marry their forbidden lover? 3% What percentage of those marriages end in divorce? 75%
What are the odds of your affair ending up in a lasting marriage? .075%
Why? Because what you have is based on lies and deception! You need to go home and honor the covenant you made with your mate and God!
A. Adultery does incredible damage to your SPOUSE.
• 1 Corinthians 6:16 (NLT) - And don’t you know that if a man joins himself to a prostitute, he becomes one body with her? For the Scriptures say, “The two are united into one.”
B. Adultery does incredible damage to YOU.
• Proverbs 6:32 (NLT) - But the man who commits adultery is an utter fool, for he destroys his own soul.
C. Adultery does incredible damage to your CHILDREN.
• Exodus 34:7b (NLT) - Even so I do not leave sin unpunished, but I punish the children for the sins of their parents to the third and fourth generations.
D. Adultery does incredible damage to the CHURCH.
• 1 Corinthians 5:6b (NLT) - Don’t you realize that if even one person is allowed to go on sinning, soon all will be affected?
E. Adultery does incredible damage to your TESTIMONY.
• 2 Samuel 12:14 (NLT) - But you have given the enemies of the LORD great opportunity to despise and blaspheme him …
F. Adultery does incredible damage to your relationship with GOD.
• Genesis 39:9b (NLT) - How could I ever do such a wicked thing? It would be a great sin against God.
4. Walk away, and start TODAY.
If you’ve been unfaithful to your mate, there is still hope. You can come to Jesus for cleansing, and He will say, “Neither do I condemn thee,” as He did to the woman caught in adultery in John 8:11. However, He will also say, “Go, and sin no more!” I can’t guarantee that your spouse will be as forgiving as God, but marriages CAN be rebuilt. Here are four things you MUST do if you really want forgiveness:
• Acknowledge the sin. Stop rationalizing it and call it what it is – SIN! Make a commitment to be morally pure, starting NOW.
• End the relationship immediately. Don’t delay – it is impossible to “wean yourself” from adultery. Quit “cold turkey!”
• Avoid all contact with that person from now on. You can’t be friends after you’ve been lovers. Do whatever it takes to end it!
• Get your spiritual life back on track. Get into the Word of God!
Psalm 119:9 - Wherewithal shall a young man cleanse his way? by taking heed thereto according to thy word.
1 Corinthians 15:33-34 - Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners. Awake to righteousness, and sin not; for some have not the knowledge of God: I speak this to your shame.
1 Corinthians 10:12-13 - Wherefore let him that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall. There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.
THE GOOD NEWS IS THAT, EVEN WHEN WE ARE UNFAITHFUL, GOD IS ALWAYS FAITHFUL!