Today we continue this three-part series called “Disciples with Distinction.” Our specific focus this evening is on “Holiness for Men”.
We will deal with the primary problem areas with holiness for men which are as follows:
1. Appetite (holy hands)
2. Anger (wrath)
3. Apathy (doubting)
True Biblical holiness has two components, SEPARATION from the world and DEDICATION to God.
Þ “Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you, 18 And will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty. 7:1 Having therefore these promises, dearly beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God” – 2 Corinthians 6:17-7:1.
Þ Holiness involves both the inner man by EXPERIENCE and the outer man by EVIDENCE. “What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? 20 For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's” – 2 Corinthians 6:19-20.
Þ Inward holiness will produce outward holiness, but the outward appearance of holiness isworthless without inward reality.
Þ Holiness includes ATTITUDES and THOUGHTS, particularly for men! “Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: 28But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with heralready in his heart” – Matthew 5:27-28.
Þ Notice that the Scripture speaks of the “attire of a harlot” (Proverbs 7:10) but never the “attire of a whoremonger” (the male equivalent), not because men CAN’T sin in the way they dress, but because outward holiness is not our primary area of greatest challenge.
Þ Look at any church that has relaxed its standards of outward holiness and note which sex is most affected – the WOMEN! The men could begin wearing very immodest clothing and loads of jewelry, start letting their hair grow long, etc. but in general, they never get involved in this to the same extent as the women.
Þ Notice also that Jesus never said, “whosoever looketh on a MAN to lust.” This is not because it would not be a sin for a woman to visually lust, or because a woman CAN’T sin in this way, but again because inward holiness is not their primary problem area.
Þ Many Christian men generally don’t mind “holiness teaching,” because they think it doesn’t really affect them. However, both men and women are to exemplify holiness to those around them, and GOD’S HOLY PEOPLE ALWAYS STAND OUT! Apostolic women will generally stand out by their APPEARANCE, and Apostolic men will generally stand out by their ACTIONS.
Þ Men, God will HELP us, but He will not FORCE us! Like women (“in like manner also”), we must make a CHOICE to live by God’s standards.
Here are the three “holiness problem areas” that Paul identifies for men:
Þ When men come before God in worship, they are admonished to approach Him with HOLY HANDS. But, ever since Adam’s failure, men have been plagued with out-of-control APPETITES (LUSTS) within our own bodies that war against holiness.
Þ Appetites are God-given and are not wrong in themselves. The appetitefor food is both natural and necessary in humans, but an unrestrained appetite in this area willlead to obesity and many health problems.
Þ Men, God will not REMOVE our appetites, for this would do irreparable damage to ourmasculinity. But He does expect us to CONTROL them!
Þ The Bible has much to say about our APPETITES; especially those that get out of control (LUSTS), for they destroy our spiritual life. Remember that LUST is not just a wrong sexualappetite, but any wrong appetite!
a. “Dearly beloved, I beseech you as strangers and pilgrims, abstain from fleshlyLUSTS, which war against the soul”- 1 Peter 2:11.
b. “6 But godliness with contentment is great gain.7 For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out. 8 And having food and raiment let us be therewith content. 9 But they that will be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and hurtful lusts, which drown men in destruction and perdition. 10 For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows” – 1 Timothy 6:6-10.
Þ Since the appetites that can cause lust cannot be removed from our lives, there is only one way to deal with lust – it must be subdued by something more powerful. ONLY AS WE YIELD TO GOD WILL WE BE ABLE TO NOT YIELD TO LUST!
a. “12 Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, that ye should obey it in the lusts thereof.13 Neither yield ye your members as instruments of unrighteousness unto sin: but yield yourselves unto God, as those that are alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness unto God” – Romans 6:12-13.
b. “16 This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh. 17 For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would” – Galatians 5:16-17.
c. “22 That ye put off concerning the former conversation the old man, which is corrupt according to the deceitful lusts; 23 And be renewed in the spirit of your mind; 24 And that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness” – Ephesians 4:22-24.
d. “14 But put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not provision for the flesh, to fulfil the lusts thereof” – Romans 13:14.
Þ Lust that is not repented of is a PROCESS that always ends in death. Most men make the mistake of thinking that they can “handle” the wrong things that they are tempted to look at, talk about, or think about. They think, “This will never affect me, it will never show up in my ACTIONS.” What they don’t realize is that the process has already begun, and if it goes too far, they will be powerless to stop it! Furthermore, God already has a problem with it being in our THOUGHTS before it is ever seen in our actions! Men, we cannot have HOLY HANDS without a HOLYHEART!
a. “14 But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed. 15 Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death” – James 1:14-15.
b. “7 For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he….” Proverbs 23:7a.
Þ In this age, as in previous ones, we define manhood as the ability to control one's emotions. This has gotten us in trouble, and we know it, BUT WE STILL DO IT. Men who dare not reveal their vulnerabilities by outwardly expressing their emotions normally experience significantly greaterlevels of inner stress, and eventually, anger.
Þ A study done years ago, identified the most stress-producing situations for men as those in whichthey perceive themselves as (1) physically inadequate, (2) emotionally expressive, (3) subordinate to women, (4) intellectually inferior, or (5) performing inadequately.
Þ MEN GENERALLY WILL NOT TALK ABOUT IT! Uninformed men tend to look at some “coping strategies,” like talking to someone else about their vulnerable feelings, as “feminine,” when in reality these are often the most effective ways to cope with stress. As a result, many studies have shown that, while women express themselves across a wide range of emotions, men tend to reserve any negative expression until they are angry enough to “let it out.”
Þ ANGER is simply a strong emotion of displeasure arising from a feeling of injury. ANGER IS NOT SINFUL IN AND OF ITSELF, for the Bible tells us, “Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath.”- Ephesians 4:26.
Þ If we become angry for some reason, we are not to allow it to prompt sinful actions. And we must not stay angry. We must not dwell on it. We must deal with it quickly, in a constructive and God-honoring way, so it does not grow stronger and produce bitterness in our lives. The biblical admonition is to deal with the anger on the same day as the provocation. Before we go to sleep that night, we should have taken positive steps to find a solution to the problem and alleviate the anger.
Þ Anger can lead to sin …
a. when it explodes quickly, without time to think rationally
b. when the injury that causes it is only imagined, not real
c. when it is disproportionate to the offense committed
d. when it is directed against the innocent rather than the guilty
e. when it is prolonged over time and becomes revengeful
Þ Some dictionaries point out that the old English word “anger” originally meant “to choke” or “to strangle.” Sometimes, this is what we would like to do to someone because of our anger! However, we need to remember that THIS IS WHAT ANGER DOES TO US! On the one hand, anger releases a rush of adrenaline that makes you feel powerful and can even temporarily overwhelm pain; but on the other hand, unresolved anger can literally strangle you inside.
Þ Many studies have shown that consistently angry men are vulnerable to physical problems like ulcers, high blood pressure, heart attack, arthritis, kidney stones, and gallbladder trouble among many other major illnesses! They are also susceptible to psychological problems like substance abuse and aggressive/abusive behavior, and other severe problems in their interpersonal relationships. According to doctors, such inner tension accounts for 60 to 85% of all sicknesses today!
Þ Whether anger is expressed through words and behavior or repressed through denial and internalizing, it is still damaging. Depression is defined as “anger turned inward,” and though it is bottled up for a time, it eventually will blow up in aggression.
Þ ANGER ANNIHILATES NORMAL HUMAN RESPONSES! And the physical damage caused by anger is only exceeded by the spiritual harm it causes. UNRESTRAINEDANGER IS SIN!
a) “Cease from ANGER, and forsake wrath: fret not thyself in any wise to do evil” - Psalm 37:8.
b) “He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls” - Proverbs 25:28.
c) “He that is slow to ANGER is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit thanhe that taketh a city” - Proverbs 16:32.
d) “But now ye also put off all these; ANGER, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy communication out of your mouth” - Colossians 3:8.
e) “Let all bitterness, and wrath, and ANGER, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: 32And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving oneanother, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you” - Ephesians 4:31-32.
f) “Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to WRATH: 20For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God” - James 1:19-20.
Þ Men, remember two principles: (1) Anger is always the SECOND emotion in any experience – the challenge is to recognize the first emotion that is causing the problem and express that rather than express anger; (2) Nobody can MAKE you angry – you have the power to CHOOSE what to do with your feelings in any situation.
Þ ANGER IS NOT WORTH IT! AND IT IS NOT HOLY!
Þ It is well known that men are the “reasoners” while women are the “feelers” among the sexes. Studies of the brain have shown that women perceive things differently than men. In general, men tend to be dominantly “left-brained,” while women tend to be dominantly “right-brained.” The word most descriptive of the left brain is “THINK,” while for the right brain, the best word is “FEEL.” For instance, when a husband and wife are making a decision, she may decide largely by intuition (a right brain process). The husband may be slower in deciding since he uses logic (a left-brain process).
Þ Our Western civilization is so devoted to left-brain education that the left sides of our brains grow slightly heavier than the right side during the school years. Statistics show that almost all children rank high in creative and emotional expression before entering school. By age seven, only 10% of children rank high in expression. By the time adulthood is reached, only 2% of the population ranks high in expression. There certainly appears to be some correlation between our idolization of logic and the death of expression! And for this, males in particular pay a heavy price due to their left-brain tendency.
Þ Men tend to be THINKERS first, and FELLERS second. However, Christian men must realize that their natural tendencies toward logic, skepticism, and critical thinking which serve them well in the business world are not the foundation principles of God’s kingdom!
a) “But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him” – Hebrews 11:6.
b) “Verily I say unto you, Whosoever shall not receive the kingdom of God as a little child, he shall not enter therein” – Mark 10:15.
Þ Men tend to be the ones who “reason” themselves out of prayer, worship, or salvation – because it isn’t “logical!” Their cynicism becomes their own worst enemy in their relationship with God! Þ Paul ties a man’s willingness to overcome this predominantly male trait to a man’s personal HOLINESS. He says that men are to “pray everywhere … without doubting.” In other words, their faith should be ON DISPLAY PUBLICLY!
Þ Just as women are to take the lead in matters of EXTERNAL HOLINESS, men must take the lead (“in like manner also”) in matters of INTERNAL HOLINESS.
Þ Yet, how many times have you seen it reversed, where a wife is the only one serving God, or sheserves as the prayer warrior of the home, or she is the one who participates most in worship, or she is the one who is the most exuberant witness for the Lord?
Þ It’s time for men to assume their rightful place of leadership in prayer, in worship, in witnessing, and in living for God!
Þ Just as it is God’s will for Christian women to STAND OUT in matters of modesty, it is God’s will for Christian men to STAND OUT in the ways of worship! HOLINESS IS QUITE OFTEN“AWKWARD” IN OUR CULTURE – BUT GOD STILL DESIRES US TO BE HOLY! Ourmen should be just as DISTINCT IN THEIR ACTIONS as our women are DISTINCT IN THEIRAPPEARANCE.
Þ Men, if you have not been holy before God as you should have been, if you have lost the struggle with APPETITE, ANGER or APATHY, it’s time to STAND UP and STAND OUT for the Lord!
a) Micah 7:8 Rejoice not against me, O mine enemy: when I fall, I shall arise; when I sit in darkness, the LORD shall be a light unto me.