Nine Secrets of Healthy Relationships - Goodness

Name of Assembly: United Apostolic Church

Type of service: Bible study

Date: August 22^nd, 2023

Teacher: Pastor Leon J. Gordon

Topic: NINE SECRETS OF HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS

Lesson 7: Goodness

Scripture Text:

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.”  Galatians 5:22-23 (KJV)

“But when the Holy Spirit controls our lives, he will produce this kind of fruit in us: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Here there is no conflict with the law” - Galatians 5:22-23 (NLT).

“A good man out of the treasure of the heart bringeth forth good things:” Matthew 12:35 (KJV) 

INTRODUCTION

Relationships are the soil in our garden of life, and what grows in them is our choice. It’s both amusing and amazing that secular psychologists can identify so many universal principles of relationships while remaining unable to give us any real power to deal with our difficulties.

However, we need to be aware that by our own human efforts, we are helpless to keep our relationships genuinely healthy. Without the power of God in our lives, our relationships will eventually disintegrate into a power struggle.

The Primary Reason why we must receive the Holy Ghost is that it’s a prerequisite of the New Birth process that all believers must complete to be saved. Don’t let anyone tell you that you can get saved without being filled with the Holy Ghost.

• “³⁷ Now when they heard this, they were pricked in their heart, and said unto Peter and to the rest of the apostles, Men and brethren, what shall we do? ³⁸ Then Peter said unto them, Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost. ³⁹ For the promise is unto you, and to your children, and to all that are afar off, even as many as the Lord our God shall call” – Acts 2:37-39.
• “⁵ Then Philip went down to the city of Samaria, and preached Christ unto them. ⁶ And the people with one accord gave heed unto those things which Philip spake, hearing and seeing the miracles which he did. ⁷ For unclean spirits, crying with loud voice, came out of many that were possessed with them: and many taken with palsies, and that were lame, were healed. ⁸ And there was great joy in that city. ¹² But when they believed Philip preaching the things concerning the kingdom of God, and the name of Jesus Christ, they were baptized, both men and women. ¹⁴ Now when the apostles which were at Jerusalem heard that Samaria had received the word of God, they sent unto them Peter and John: ¹⁵ Who, when they were come down, prayed for them, that they might receive the Holy Ghost: ¹⁶ (For as yet he was fallen upon none of them: only they were baptized in the name of the Lord Jesus.) ¹⁷ Then laid they their hands on them, and they received the Holy Ghost” – Acts 8:5-8;13,14-17.
• “And it came to pass, that, while Apollos was at Corinth, Paul having passed through the upper coasts came to Ephesus: and finding certain disciples, ² He said unto them, Have ye received the Holy Ghost since ye believed? And they said unto him, We have not so much as heard whether there be any Holy Ghost. ³ And he said unto them, Unto what then were ye baptized? And they said, Unto John's baptism. ⁴ Then said Paul, John verily baptized with the baptism of repentance, saying unto the people, that they should believe on him which should come after him, that is, on Christ Jesus. ⁵ When they heard this, they were baptized in the name of the Lord Jesus. ⁶ And when Paul had laid his hands upon them, the Holy Ghost came on them; and they spake with tongues, and prophesied. ⁷ And all the men were about twelve” – Acts 19:1-7.
• Without completing the salvation plan as taught by the Apostles, our salvation is incomplete, and if we die in such a state then we will be lost forever.

The secondary reason why we must receive the Holy Ghost is that when we have His Spirit in us, He helps us live in our everyday relationships by producing in us “THE FRUIT OF THE SPIRIT.” And one important segment of that fruit is “goodness.”

WHAT IS GOODNESS AND WHAT IT'S NOT?

Instinctively, human beings know that it is right to be “GOOD,” but we have many different views on exactly what constitutes “goodness.” Around the time the New Testament was written, the ancient Greek philosophers proposed several ideas about goodness.

• One philosophy said that good is the experience of pleasure and the eradication of pain. So, if my pleasure is good, then anything that causes me displeasure is bad. So, if my marriage is causing tension or unhappiness, I owe it to myself to get out. If drinking helps me forget life’s problems, I owe it to myself to drink as much and as often as is necessary.
• Another philosophy said that good is the acquisition of knowledge and the eradication of ignorance. This theory assumes first that our educators will always be right, and second that if we are taught what is good, we will automatically do it. But, as our modern lack of values and the sophistication of criminals will attest, education alone is not the answer.
• Another philosophy said that good is the greatest benefit for the greatest number. This is the principle upon which our idea of democracy is built. It recognizes that there are always advantages and disadvantages in every situation. Essentially, the view is that whatever is best for most people is good. But this obviously isn’t so good for the minority
• A final philosophy said that good is having goods! Most people still define good in materialistic terms, despite the fact that all the evidence suggests that material goods don’t provide lasting satisfaction.  
• Each of these philosophies shares one common error – the idea that man can manufacture goodness.
• Psychology textbooks and self-help books often give the impression that people are BORN good and blame their bad experiences for their bad behavior. However, the Bible teaches that people are NOT born good, but with a sinful nature. Even without a bad childhood or harmful experiences, we are naturally inclined toward rebellion, disobedience, and selfishness. Psalm 51:5 states, “ Behold, I was shapen in iniquity; and in sin did my mother conceive me.”
• The Bible also teaches us that, regardless of our personal hurts or painful life experiences, each person ultimately chooses their behavior, and bears the consequences! “Don’t you realize that whatever you choose to obey becomes your master? You can choose sin, which leads to death, or you can choose to obey God and receive his approval” - Romans 6:16 (NLT).
• Finally, the Bible teaches us that we have no POWER in ourselves to choose the right behavior! “¹⁸ I know I am rotten through and through so far as my old sinful nature is concerned. No matter which way I turn, I can’t make myself do right. I want to, but I can’t. ¹⁹ When I want to do good, I don’t. And when I try not to do wrong, I do itanyway” - Romans 7:18-19 (NLT). The KJV version renders the same passages this way, “For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not. ¹⁹ For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do.”
• So, if man is not born good, and he is held responsible to choose to be good, and he has no power to be good, but yet he must be good to get to heaven, what is the solution for his dilemma?
• It takes God in us for us to be able to act good! We don’t “get good to get God,” we “get God to get good!” The only solution to our sin problem is the power of the Holy Ghost, producing the Fruit of the Spirit in our lives!
• The Greek word for “goodness” is the word “agathosune.” It is a rare word that combines BEING good and DOING good. It means goodness that originates in our hearts but manifests itself in our actions. It literally means, “to be godlike.”
• Our most accurate modern word for “goodness” would be the word “wholeness” or “INTEGRITY.” Integrity comes from the same root as the word “integrate” and that’s what it means – a decision to integrate my heart’s values into my daily actions. I thus become a “whole” person, not double-minded or two-faced.
• Proverbs 28:6 says, “Better is the poor who walks in his integrity than one perverse in his ways, though he be rich.”
• 1 Chronicles 29:17 in the NLT says, “I know, my God, that you examine our hearts and rejoice when you find integrity there.”
• Integrity is very important to God, but it’s important to us and to our relationships as well. We struggle with low self-worth when there is a gap between our heart’s values and our daily actions.
• Many of us have grown up with the adage, “Honesty is the best policy.” However, today, many have disregarded this and have rephrased it to read, “Honesty, if it’s in my best interest, is the best policy.” In James Patterson’s book “The Day America Told the Truth.” There were some interesting, yet not surprising data. He reported that 91 percent of Americans lie regularly. That the majority find it hard to get through a week without lying, and 1 in 5 can’t make it through a single day without telling a conscious, premeditated lie. We don’t only tell lies; we also live lies.
• The general justification that people give for lying is the fear of being caught or found out. However, lies and deception have a way of coming back to haunt us and eventually hunt us down. While offering the illusion of freedom, lies, instead, are a heavy burden to carry.
• Clearly, honesty has become unfashionable in our days, and the reality of being lied to has become accepted. However, God demands honesty from us. If there is one saying that holds true for all followers of Christ, it is the importance of truth and honesty. The ninth commandment says, “You shall not bear false witness” (Exodus 20:16). Additionally, Proverbs 6:16-19 says, “¹⁶ These six things doth the Lord hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him: ¹⁷ A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, ¹⁸ An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief, ¹⁹ A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren.”

HOW GOODNESS IS DEVELOPED

To develop goodness, we must first understand that there is none good but God.

• The rich young ruler was admonished to this fact when he approached Jesus about inheriting eternal life. “¹⁷And when he was gone forth into the way, there came one running, and kneeled to him, and asked him, Good Master, what shall I do that I may inherit eternal life?¹⁸And Jesus said unto him, Why callest thou me good? there is none good but one, that is, God” - Mark 10:17-18.
• When he complimented Jesus by calling Him Good Master, Jesus immediately questioned him as to why he was calling Him good.
• Jesus further stated that there is none good but God.
• We must also realize that any goodness we have, we received from God. St. Matthew 7:11 states, “If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?”
• We develop goodness by proper study and implementation of the Word in our life.

1. Psalm 119:9, “Wherewithal shall a young man cleanse his way? By taking heed thereto according to thy word.” (KJV)
2. Psalm 119:11, “Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee.” (KJV)

HOW IS GOODNESS EXPRESSED?

The only way that we can hope to manifest goodness in our life is to first allow God to develop it in us. This happens when we:

1. Obey His word.
2. Submit to Him.
3. Yield to His Spirit.
4. Live according to His will

Goodness is a progression of purity that begins in our inner man and then manifests itself toward God and our fellow man.

• This is what the Word refers to as “good works” or, the expression of goodness.
• If a man is truly good on the inside, he will seek to express that goodness outwardly.

Matthew 12:35 states, “A good man out of the good treasure of the heart bringeth forth good things.” If the heart is not good, then no good will come forth in the life. James 3:11-12, “Doth a fountain send forth at the same place sweet water and bitter?  can the fig tree, my brethren, bear olive berries? either  a vine, figs? so can no fountain yield both salt water and fresh.” (KJV)

There are Biblical precepts that guide us in expressing goodness. We were created to manifest the ways of God through good works in the world. Ephesians 2:10, “For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them” (KJV). When we do good, we are expressing to the world that we are of God.

We express goodness by helping those in need.

• The story of the Good Samaritan is a prime example of manifested goodness.

Luke 10:33-35, “But a certain Samaritan, as he journeyed, came where he was: and when he saw him, he had compassion on him.  And went to him, and bound up his wounds, pouring in oil and wine, and set him on his own beast, and brought him to an inn, and took care of him.  And on the morrow, when he departed, he took out two-pence, and gave them to the host, and said  unto him, Take care of him; and whatsoever thou spendest more, when I come again, I will repay thee.”

1. 1. He took the time to recognize the need.
   2. He bound up his wounds.
   3. He took him to a safe place.
   4. He provided for his care.
   5. He was willing to do even more.

• Matthew 6:1 (NLT) says “Take care! Don’t do your good deeds publicly, to be admired, because then you will lose the reward from your Father in heaven.” Jesus isn’t saying not to do anything where people can see it, because He did a lot of good deeds publicly. Instead, He’s talking about our MOTIVATION. Why are we doing it? If it’s only to be admired, then it’s WRONG!
• 1 Samuel 16:7 (NLT) states, “People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at a person’s thoughts and intentions.”
• Our public image must match our private reality, otherwise, we do not have “integrity” – we are not demonstrating goodness!
• Our words must match our actions, or we do not have “integrity” – we are notdemonstrating goodness!
• Our words aren’t contagious, but our lifestyle is. That’s why many times, those closest to us don’t want to be close to us – because of our hypocrisy and inconsistency!
• INTEGRITY means you must make up your mind IN ADVANCE!

Closing Illustration:

A story comes from long ago of a King who organized a great race within his kingdom.  All the young men of the kingdom participated.  A bag of gold was to be given to the winner, and the finish line was within the courtyard of the King’s palace.

The race was run, and the runners were surprised to find in the middle of the road leading to the King’s palace a great pile of rocks and stones.  But they managed to scramble over it or to run around it and eventually come to the courtyard.

Finally, all the runners had crossed the finish line except one.  But still, the King did not call the race off.  After a while, one lone runner came through the gate.  He lifted a bleeding hand and said, “O King, I am sorry that I am so late, but you see, I found in the road a pile of rocks and stones, and it took me a while, and I wounded myself in removing them.”  Then he lifted the other hand, and in it was a bag.  He said, “But great King, I found beneath the pile of rocks this bag of gold.”

The King said, “My son, you have won the race, for that one runs best who makes the way safer for those who follow.”

Let the Holy Ghost grow “GOODNESS” in you!