Name of Assembly: United Apostolic Church

Type of service: Bible study

Date: August 1st & 8th, 2023

Teacher: Pastor Leon J. Gordon

Topic: NINE SECRETS OF HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS

Lesson 4: Peace 

Scripture Text:

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.”  Galatians 5:22-23 (KJV) 

“And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”  Philippians 4:7 (KJV)  

i.       INTRODUCTION

A.       In the 1960’s those who predicted the future advantages of technology felt the biggest challenge to the future would be boredom. They believed that time-saving technologies would increase productivity, and they informed a US Senate subcommittee that by 1985 people would work about 22 hours a week, 27 weeks a year, and would retire at 38. We now look at those numbers and laugh. 

B.            The average husband and wife unit is currently working 90 to 100 hours a week. Families are taking a heavy toll, not from boredom but from the stresses of life that leave them exhausted!     

ii.         HOW DO YOU HAVE PEACE IN THE MIDDLE OF MODERN LIFE? 

A.           First, let’s define “peace” according to the Bible – because most people don’t truly understand what peace is! They define peace as “the absence of tension or conflict.” The ancient words for peace do not mean “the absence of tension or conflict,” but rather, “the tranquility of order.” In other words, there may be chaos all around us, but a person with God’s Spirit inside remains at peace because there is “ORDER” in their life.

B.            In studying Galatians 5:22-23, we find an interesting definition for the word peace.

1.             Peace comes from the Greek word, eirene (i-raý-nay); which means quietness, rest, or to set at one a gain.

2.             Literally, it means to take that which was broken and to put it together again.

3.             When Adam and Eve sinned, our right relationship with God was broken; our right relationship with our inner-man was broken and our right relationship with others was broken.  Through the Spirit being manifested in our lives, those relationships are set at one again, or, are put back together. God’s order is restored. 

These things I have spoken unto you, that IN ME ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world” - John 16:33. 

C.      Basically, people are at war in three different areas of their lives:

1.             They are at war with God.

2.             They are at war with themselves.

3.             They are at war with each other

D.  However, as Christians, we should have peace in our relationship with       God, ourselves, and others. 

III.         PEACE WITH GOD 

A.  Before we can ever attain true peace in other areas of our life, we must, first of all, be at peace with God.

B.   God desires for us to have peace and has made way for us to be at peace with Him.

1.    “The LORD will give strength unto his people; the LORD will bless his people with peace …” Psalm 29:11. (KJV)

2.    Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end…” (KJV)

3.    Romans 5:1 “Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ:” (KJV)

C.   With their initial sin, Adam and Eve broke the relationship of peace that man had with God.

1.    Romans 5:12 “Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned:” (KJV)

D.  From that point until now, man has sought in various ways to re-establish that relationship of peace.

1.    Jeremiah 8:15 “We looked for peace, but no good came;” (KJV)

2.    Ezekiel 13:10 “Because, even because they have seduced my people, saying, Peace; and there was no peace;” (KJV) 

E.   God established a pattern for bringing peace back into the lives of people.

1.    “13 But now in Christ Jesus ye who sometimes were far off are made nigh by the blood of Christ. 14or he is our peace, who hath made both one, and hath broken down the middle wall of partition between us; 15 Having abolished in his flesh the enmity, even the law of commandments contained in ordinances; for to make in himself of twain one new man, so making peace; 16 And that he might reconcile both unto God in one body by the cross, having slain the enmity thereby: 17 And came and preached peace to you which were afar off, and to them that were nigh” – Ephesians 2:13-17.

2.    Jesus Christ shed His innocent blood to atone for our sins, in the process of doing this, He restored peace between Himself and His redeemed ones.

3.    We see, also, that through manifesting the aspect of peace in the fruit of the Spirit, we are brought back as one with God.

4.    John 14:27 “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you.  Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid…” 

IV.         PEACE WITH OURSELVES

A.           The greatest struggle being faced by individuals today is the struggle for peace of mind.

B.            In searching for inner peace, or peace of mind, we need to understand what this type of peace is not:

1.             It is not a lack of hostility.

a)    A true Biblical understanding of peace is much deeper than not having a life filled with conflict.

b)   Real peace is peace regardless of conflict.

2.             It is not an absence of activity.

a)    All too often we use the phrase “Peace and quiet” to refer to our need to slow down.

b)   Slowing down is not the same as having peace.

c)    Real peace is peace regardless of activity.

3.             Nor is it an escape from reality.

a)    Real peace is peace regardless of location.

C.            It is not God’s will for people to live with inner turmoil.

1.      “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind….” - 2 Timothy 1:7. 

a)    Fear has a way of destroying the peace of mind that God intended us to possess.

b)   Many times, we lose our inner peace because we are tormented by the fear of what might happen.

2.             “For the kingdom of God is not meat and drink; but righteousness, and peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost….” - Romans 14:17. (KJV)

a)    God is our provider of things both temporal and spiritual.

b)   Paul is telling us that the kingdom does not exist in the external blessings God gives but in the inner man where righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost exist.

3.             When Jesus stepped to the bow of the ship in Mark 4:39 and said, “Peace, be still”, He was letting us know that if he could do that with the wind and waves, He could surely speak to a troubled mind.

a)    The comma in this verse denotes a pause.

b)   It is a gentle, yet strong Savior, who steps into the turmoil and stress of an individual at war with themself and softly says, “Peace…..be still.”

4.             “And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus” - Philippians 4:7. (KJV)

a)    There is a peace that comes from God that is beyond human reasoning and understanding.

b)   Notice this verse also tells us that the peace that He gives will keep our heartsand minds through Jesus Christ, who is the Prince of Peace. 

V.  PEACE WITH OTHERS

A.  Scripture is very plain in its teaching concerning being at peace with other people.

1.    “Let us therefore follow after the things which make for peace, and things wherewith one may edify another….” Romans 14:19. (KJV)

a)  We are commanded to follow after, or pursue, those things which bring peace in the body.

b)  The person who is continually stirring up trouble by gossip and backbiting and bringing division is living in contradiction to the Word of God.

2.    II Corinthians 13:11 “Finally, brethren, farewell.  Be perfect, be of good comfort, be of one mind, live in peace; and the God of love and peace shall be with you.”  (KJV)

a)  This is a very challenging scripture.  In his closing remarks to the Corinthian church, he states that they should “….live in peace

b)  As long as God tarries His coming and we dwell on the earth, we are going to be surrounded by people.

c)  As Christians it is imperative that we live in a peaceful relationship with others.

d)  Because peace is not “the absence of tension or conflict,” but rather “the tranquility of order,” you will never achieve peace by …

        • AVOIDING the problem. Unresolved conflict is like termites in a relationship; it will eventually bring the house down. Pretending the problem doesn’t exist is not peace-making.
        • APPEASING the problem. God doesn’t expect you to be a doormat! Jesus never backed off from a legitimate issue. Peace at any price is not legitimate peace!

3.    Ephesians 4:3 “Endeavouring* to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.” (“be eager; hasten*)

a)  According to this reference, you really cannot preach unity if you do not preach the bond of peace.

4.    “And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful….” Colossians 3:15 (KJV)

a)  The peace of God is to rule or have dominion, in our hearts.

5.    “And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace of them that make peace….” James 3:18. (KJV)

a)  We are striving to be a righteous people

b)  This is a lifelong process that we will never accomplish without the help of the Holy Ghost.

6.    Hebrews 12:14 “Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord:”

a)  Without peace and holiness, we will not see God.

b)  Without peace and holiness others will not see God in us.  

vi.         HOW TO BE A PEACEMAKER (P.E.A.C.E) 

P - Plan a Peace Conference  

    • The reason most world peace conferences don’t work is the same reason many relationships don’t work – someone has to be willing to make the first move!
    • Matthew 5:23-24 23, “23 Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee; 24 Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift.”
    • If you are a Christian, you are to always take the initiative in seeking peace, whether you have been offended or you are the offender. Why? The longer you wait to resolve a relationship problem the bigger it gets. 

EEmpathize with their Feelings  

    • The second reason most world peace conferences don’t work is that no one is willing to look at the problem from the other’s perspective. It’s the same in relationships! 
    • “Finally, all of you should be of one mind, full of sympathy toward each other, loving one another with tender hearts and humble minds” - 1 Peter 3:8 (NLT). 
    • The first thing you do is LISTEN! Why? Listening shows you care!  
    • The story is told about an old couple that was seeking a divorce. The wife was partially deaf and seemingly had another challenge. Let’s look at the questions and answers below: 

Lawyer’s questions: Do you have grounds?

Wife’s response: Yes, 40 acres.

Lawyer’s questions: Do you have a grudge?

Wife’s response: Yes, a double.

Lawyer’s questions: Does he beat you up?

Wife’s response: No, I’m up before him every day.

Lawyer’s questions: What’s the problem here?

Wife’s response: He doesn’t communicate!  

    • When someone is hurting you, please remember: HURT PEOPLE HURT PEOPLE! Look beyond the hurt that you're receiving and ask, “What is hurting them that's causing them to hurt me?”
    • Did you know that in some instances, the key to intimacy can be CONFLICT? If you never have any conflict, you always exist on the surface level. But when you deal with conflict in a positive way and resolve it, it creates greater understanding, brings you closer, and makes you stronger. 

AAttack the Problem, Not the Person  

    • People who wink at wrong cause trouble, but a bold reproof promotes peace” - Proverbs 10:10 (NLT).“Instead, by speaking the truth in a spirit of love, we must grow up in every way to Christ, who is the head” - Ephesians 4:15 (TEV). 
    • Anytime there’s an ongoing conflict, somebody’s hiding something! The truth always sets you free!
    • You're never persuasive when you're abrasive. You don't get your point across by being cross! You've got to stop fixing the blame in order to start fixing the problem. 

7 rules for fighting fair in a relationship:

1.    Never compare (unfair)

2.    Never condemn (not “you are …” but “I feel …”)

3.    Never command (demanding)

4.    Never challenge (threats tear down)

5.    Never condescend (don’t belittle)

6.    Never contradict (interrupt)

7.    Never confuse (don’t bring up unrelated issues) 

    • If you follow these, you’ll be attacking the problem, not the person.  

CCooperate as Much as Possible

    • Compromise is essential in every human relationship! Try to find areas of common ground and places where you can be flexible.
    • Romans 12:18, “If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.
    • James 3:17 (NLT), “But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and good deeds. It shows no partiality and is always sincere.” 
    • More marriages die from inflexibility than from anything else!  
    • Dr. Paul Tournier, author of “To Understand Each Other,” said, “So-called incompatibility is a myth, invented by jurists in order to plead for divorce. It is likewise just a common excuse people use just to hide their own failings. Misunderstandings and mistakes can be corrected where there is a willingness to do so. The problem is a lack of complete frankness.”  

EEmphasize Reconciliation, not Resolution

    • Reconciliation means re-establishing the relationship. Resolution means resolving every issue. And you're just not going to do that! However, you can disagree without being disagreeable. q  You can have unity in a relationship without having uniformity.
    • You can walk hand in hand in a relationship without seeing eye to eye on non-essential matters. q  You can have reconciliation without having a resolution of every difference.  
    • And all things are of God, who hath reconciled us to himself by Jesus Christ, and hath given to us the ministry of reconciliation” - 2 Corinthians 5:18.
    • Reconciliation is a synonym for being a peacemaker. When you attempt to be a peacemaker, you're doing the work of God. When you're restoring relationships, you're doing the work of God.  
    • WHO DO YOU NEED TO RECONCILE WITH TODAY?  
    • Human beings are incapable of sustaining “the tranquility of order” without help beyond themselves. You cannot produce the fruit of the Spirit without God’s Spirit!  
    • And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus” - Philippians 4:7.   

Closing Illustration

There once was a king who offered a prize to the artist who would paint the best picture of peace.  Many artists tried.  The king looked at all the pictures.  But there were only two that he really liked, and he had to choose between them.  One picture was of a calm lake.  The lake was a perfect mirror for the peaceful towering mountains all around it.  Overhead was a blue sky with fluffy white clouds.  All who saw this picture thought that it was a perfect picture of peace.

The other picture had mountains, too.  But these were rugged and bare.  Above was an angry sky, from which rain fell and in which lightning played.  Down the side of the mountain tumbled a forming waterfall.  This did not look peaceful at all.

But when the king looked closely, he saw behind the waterfall a tiny bush growing in a crack in the rock.  In the bush, a mother bird had built her nest.  There, in the midst of the rush of angry water, sat the mother bird on her nest - in perfect peace.

Which picture do you think won the prize?  The king chose the second picture.  Do you know why?  “Because”, explained the king, “peace does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work.  Peace means to be in the midst of all those things and still be calm in your heart.  That is the real meaning of peace.”

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